Making money doing something you enjoy is said to be one of the keys to happiness and success in life. With that in mind, it occurred to me that perhaps nothing could be more enjoyable than getting paid to ejaculate. I'm talking of course about donating your semen to a sperm bank in return for monetary compensation, not prostitution. If you've ever considered donating your sperm in order to earn some extra cash then you might want to take a moment to learn about some of the requirements involved. The business of sperm donation is not quite as simple as it may at first sound.
Cash For Your Swimmers
If you're like most men then the thought of earning some money for your sperm has probably crossed your mind at least once or twice. My interest was recently renewed while watching an episode of "The Colbert Report" in which Stephen (the host) did a comedy bit about the recent Australian sperm shortage. You can watch the entire segment in this hilarious clip.
All comedy aside, Stephen reports that some Australian clinics are paying over $700 per vial of American sperm. Obviously that's some serious money being shelled out for those little swimmers! At that price, and with a little help from some semen volumizer supplements*, I figured that any man could be well on their way to retirement in just a few short years.
Before quitting my job and becoming a full-time sperm donor I decided to do a little research into the sperm donation business. What I discovered was a little bit disheartening. It seems as though my retirement will have to wait.
Standard Criteria for Sperm Donation
In order to begin the process, an initial consultation is required to determine the suitability of the sperm donor. While each clinic has its own individual requirements, the following standard criteria are those generally used to pre-qualify sperm donors.
The sperm donor must be between the ages of 18 to 34 (the cryogenically preserved sperm of young males is more durable than that of older men).
The donor must be at least 5'11 inches or taller (most women want to have tall children).
The donors weight should be appropriate for his height (it is believed that sperm health is directly associated with body weight).
Donors should have a high school diploma or preferably a college degree (socio-economics meets genetics).
Medical Health Requirement:
Donors must have a clean medical record with no history of disease (this includes syphilis, chlamydia, hepatitis B or C, HIV, genital herpes, venereal warts or other diseases).
If the previous requirements are met, several tests are then performed to determine the health of the sperm itself. It is estimated that between 50-90% of all applicants are rejected because of a deficiency in one or more of the following areas.
Measures the concentration of sperm in a man's ejaculate (anything over 20 million sperm per milliliter is considered normal).
Determines how well the sperm swim ("normal motility" is generally defined as 50-60% of observed sperm cells showing good forward movement).
This refers to the form, structure and configuration of the sperm (the definition of "normal morphology" varies but a sample is considered normal if anywhere between 14-30% or more of the observed sperm have normal morphology).
This is the measure of how well the sperm reacts to being frozen and thawed (some sperm samples are more resilient to the freezing process than others).
Family Medical History and Full Exam
After having successfully passed the preceding requirements the next step is to evaluate your family medical history. In some instances this may require the disclosure of your family's full medical background going back as far as 4 generations.
Once family background screening is passed, a full medical exam consisting of an assortment of various tests is then performed. This includes semen analysis, urinalysis, determining blood type (ABO-Rh), full blood count (FBC), carrier screening for cystic fibrosis and sickle cell and other diseases. Even if you pass this barrage of tests, you should then be prepared for follow up tests which occur every 3 months.
If you've managed to pass all the tests and are approved to become a sperm donor then the only thing left to do is sign a contract. This contract includes several legal stipulations that must be met.
Sperm donors have no legal responsibility for any children produced using their sperm. They also have no rights to the child and will remain anonymous in accordance with state law. This particular stipulation varies however as noted in the aforementioned Australian sperm shortage controversy. According to a new Australian law, all sperm donors must agree to provide identifying information so that the child can contact them once they reach the age of 18.
Donors must commit to the program for a period of 6 months to 3 years. Your responsibility during this time includes maintaining good heath and notifying the clinic if you suspect that you've contracted a disease.
In accordance with the contract, sperm donors must remain abstinent for at least 5 days prior to making a deposit. This means no sex or masturbation which results in ejaculation.
Donors are only allowed up to 10 children produced from their sperm. Once this number is reached the sperm donor is then retired from the market.
Sperm Donors - A Select Group
As you can see, becoming a sperm donor is not as easy as you may have first thought. The entire qualification process can take between 6 weeks to 6 months and involves significant testing. Also keep in mind that less than 5% of all applicants are approved to become sperm donors.
While there are financial rewards for those that qualify, the actual amount will differ from one sperm bank to the next. If you're interested in becoming a donor and believe that you'll meet all the strict requirements then you should talk to your doctor who can refer you to a state certified clinic.
For me, the prospect of exchanging sperm for cash was short-lived. Unfortunately I fall short of meeting several of the criteria such as the age and height requirements. It would appear that my career as a sperm donor will have to be restricted to the bedroom!
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Posted by PRS
Friday, May 14th, 2010
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